One of my most anticipated books of the year has been Carrie Byrd’s debut romance, Loser of the Year. If you’ve had the chance to listen to her episode on the Strictly Sapphic podcast or interacted with her on social media, you would understand why. So, when I was able to get an ARC copy of it, I was beyond excited. I immediately downloaded it and, once I finished the book I had already started, dove right in. Once in it, I was hooked. With this novel, Carrie Byrd was able to craft a big beautiful story about the wall-smashing and wound healing potential of love. It made me swoon, made me cry (multiple times), and by the end had me smiling like a big sappy idiot.
After having failed to make it on Broadway or in Hollywood and going through a divorce, Mattie Belman is in desperate need of a fresh start. Unfortunately, the only option for her is to come back to her hometown to take a theater teacher position at the local all-girls Catholic high school. Now, not only is she having to learn how to teach on the fly, but she’s also having to hide her Jewish and queer identity. Hiding the latter gets harder when she meets the fiery and arrogant Jillian Reed, the school’s soccer coach. Jillian is intensely focused on just one goal: winning another state soccer championship. When Mattie’s school musical gets in the way of Jillian’s plans for her players, the two women collide. When Mattie makes it clear to Jillian that she is not giving in to Jillian’s demands, Jillian declares war. When arguments turn to flirting and then to secret hookups and dates, though, Mattie and Jillian have to decide if living their truth is worth what they might lose.
As an enemies to lovers romance, Loser of the Year is an absolute masterpiece of the trope. The adversarial banter between the fiery and hard-headed Jillian and Mattie is pitch perfect and a delight to read. Jillian is so used to getting her way and steam-rolling anyone who tries to stop her, while Mattie is the first person in a long time who is willing to give it right back to her. It makes for a beautiful back and forth that perfectly builds the tension between them.
In addition to crafting a fantastic enemies to lovers story, Carrie Byrd delivered an emotionally resonant story of how religion can truly fuck us up. Even though we never directly see Jillian’s point of view in the story, we still are able to feel the extent to which hiding her queerness has damaged her. She has had to create a persona for herself that is solely focused on what she can offer people while never letting them get too close. It was gut wrenching to read as Jillian laid out her belief, brought on by being raised and working for years in a conservative religious environment, that the only thing she was good for was what she could offer people.
Another thing I really appreciated about Carrie Byrd’s handling of religious trauma is how she and Mattie treat Jillian. Never once does Mattie pity Jillian or try to push her to come out before she is ready. She’s patient and willing to take whatever time she gets with Jillian however it happens. Even when Jillian is not able to stand up for her because of her trauma, Mattie never directs her anger towards the woman she loves. As painful as it is to read, it’s also sweet to see how empathetic Mattie is towards Jillian and wants what is best for her. For queer people who don’t have religious trauma but are dating someone who does, Mattie is a perfect example of how to handle it.
Despite the heaviness of the religious trauma, there are some great moments of hope in Loser of the Year. I loved seeing how teaching helped Mattie find inner happiness again. Her relationship with her students was so sweet and was another standout part of the book for me. Being an educator myself, I love a story in which a teacher uplifts students and helps them reach new heights. Seeing the impact Mattie had on her students, especially the queer ones, was a delight to see.
Loser of the Year is a masterpiece of sapphic literature. It is a perfect, beautiful, and complex enemies to lovers story that left me in awe. It would not surprise me at all to see it named as one of the best sapphic romances of 2024. It also makes me super excited to see what Carrie Byrd has up her sleeves for the future.